I Have Some Thoughts on Cobra Kai...

I have…mixed feelings on Cobra Kai, the continuation of the Karate Kid saga I grew up on, a franchise that directly influenced my decision to take up martial arts early on. On one hand, it's not just a remake, and follows on from the events of Karate Kid part III with all the characters and how they have changed, or not, in the forty years since, which is very cool. On the other, it's cheesy, cringey and I would always put back starting to watch the new series so I didn’t have to deal with it. 

I grew up on Karate Kid. It is a franchise that influenced my love of martial arts, but also helped me to navigate the bullying I was experiencing. It was never quite to the level that Daniel LaRusso experienced, and it took me a longer time than it should to learn to stand up for myself like he did, but the broader lesson of learning martial arts so I didn’t have to use it is a guiding principle I still live by today. To quote the first film: 

“So Karate’s fighting, you train to fight.”

“That what you think?”

“No.”

“Then why train?”

“So I won’t have to fight.”

For the most part, that worked. I took up Taekwondo after a few failed starts at Judo and Karate, and within a few months my bullying stopped. Now this might be coincidence or down to timing, and I wasn’t walking around school telling everyone I was a martial artist now as it would have been a fast way to get a target on my back, but it did happen. 

This is a principle I didn’t really pick up on in the movies when I first watched them. Mr Miyagi taught Daniel defense first, while the main villains, the students of the Cobra Kai dojo, were taught to strike first, strike hard and show no mercy. Ultimately that philosophy didn’t pan out and Cobra Kai were finished after an epic showdown at the All Valley tournament and Daniel’s now legendary crane kick. 

Fast forward nearly forty years, and the TV show Cobra Kai picks up with Johnny Lawrence - again played by William Zabka, the main bully from that very first movie more than a little bit down on his luck. He seemed to be a spoilt rich kid who had it all in the first movie, now he is living in a shitty apartment, a drunk, with no real job. 

A chance encounter reignites his passion for Karate and he restarts Cobra Kai. Meanwhile, Daniel LaRusso - Ralph Macchio returns to his role too, is a successful business owner with his own Car dealership, a beautiful wife and two great kids. When Daniel realises Johnny is starting Cobra Kai again, he makes it his mission to shut it down, remembering all the damage the dojo caused back in the eighties. 

This is the premise for what will become six seasons of the show as it follows the ups and downs of an ongoing battle for the hearts and minds of the high school students of the All valley. It starts off as a resumption of the conflict between Johnny and Daniel, then broadens to encompass their kids and the Cobra Kai and Miyagi-Do dojo’s as a whole and in many respects is a well told, classic story that continues the legacy of the original three movies. We don’t talk about Next Karate Kid or that one with Jayden Smith where he learns kung fu but it's still called Karate Kid. 

While the movies had some humour to them, mainly between Mr Miyagi and Daniel, they kept it fairly serious as the student continues to learn from the master. The thing about Cobra Kai is that they kept trying to infuse comedy into it, and it varies in quality from a decent one time joke to outright cringe, and it's this that gave me the most problems throughout the entire show. 

It’s not even the acting that’s the problem, the cast is doing the best with what they have and it’s mainly based around William Zabka’s Johnny Lawrence. I figured it out late, but it's basically any time the show tries to show his fatherly side or deal with his new family dynamic, that it becomes unbearably cheezy. 

Now, the thing about it is that Johnny seems to be stuck in the eighties. He barely uses the internet, has no idea what a smartphone is and his apartment looks fresh out of an old action movie where the heroes hole up while being pursued. I think we are, as the audience, supposed to do one of two things, either feel sorry for him or find it funny. But it’s neither, it's just the worst. 

It always seemed to be at the start of the show/series too. For the first three or four episodes of a series, and the first ten minutes or so of each, I was curling up into a ball to get past this crash course in how not to be funny or endearing. Once I was past that, the show became good and I happily carried on watching. I get having to mix it up to make the show more interesting, but this is ham fisted at best and just down right terrible at worst. 

I am probably in the minority with this, I freely admit, and it could just be my experience as I definitely like my comedy more slapstick than witty, which is why I never got into any version of The Office. Like I said, it wasn’t all terrible, there are some genuinely funny moments scattered across all six seasons but these are few and far between. One thing I will point out is the genius use of a hawk sound effect for one of the most memorable new characters in the whole show as when you hear it you just smile a silly, stupid grin. 

Once you get past that, however, Cobra Kai can be a great show. I doubt it will go down in history like the original trilogy, but the character development can be really great, especially in the last couple of seasons for Johnny Lawrence. The teens at the heart of the story go through some real battles, both emotional and literal and the fight scenes are damn good. They might stretch the definition of karate a bit, but you cannot deny they get the heart pumping. 

The fight in the school in season two is a massive highlight here, and sets the stage for some of the best character arcs in the whole show. There are literally broken backs, forever scars - both psychological and physical and destruction of logn time friendships. It showcases the brutality of what the Cobra Kai ethos is and how damaging it can be, disregarding the basic tenant that most real world martial artists know: It’s for self defense only. 

The return of all the classic villains from the original trilogy, Kreese, Terry Silver, Chozon and even Mike Barnes is pure nostalgia food for people like me and they all have great story arcs, even if Kreese and Silver do become the most mustache twirly bad guys possible. It works though and the original Sensei of Cobra Kai, John Kreese, has a pretty good…I want to say redemption, but it literally took a kid dying for it to happen so I am not sure that’s the right word. 

The main bad guy from Karate Kid Part II, Chozon becomes Daniel Larusso’s quirky best friend and is a delight to watch for the most part. His story does include some of that cringey ‘comedy’ that the show loves to try, but otherwise it's a great evolution of the character. The same goes for Mike Barnes, the ‘bad boy of Karate’ from Karate Kid part III. His role was relatively short, but it was very cool to see him back and a in natural follow up after the events of the third movie. 

Absolutely the best, and most worthy of the term, redemption arc in the whole show is that of Johnny Lawrence himself. Going from down and out drunkard in the opening episode to having everything he could have dreamed of by the very last, it's the type of character development that is filled with hope no matter how much you may have hated him as the bully from that first movie. 

Trust me, that was Johnny, there seems to be this movement recently that it was actually Daniel that was the bully and he was definitely not the titular Karate Kid. This is false, and mainly done, at least by my friends, to wind those who know the truth up. If you are one of those people, you are wrong, time to deal with it. 

The new characters range from great to terrible, but if I am being honest, there is only one kinda rubbish character and he does become a fan favourite that ends up having a satisfying conclusion to his tiny portion of the story. The main ones, Miguel, Robbie, Sam and Tori are all great with arcs often mirror what the original movies were about while also sprinkling in new ideas for the modern age. If you told me in a few years the Cobra Kai would inspire a new generation of kids to take up martial arts then I would absolutely believe you.

Cobra Kai has it’s problems, most definitely, but get past those and you will find a well made martial arts comedy drama that provides pulse pounding fights, emotional highs, crushing lows and a worthy continuation of a franchise that inspired so many kids in the eighties. The sensi’s here are no Mr Miyagi, but his legacy overshadows everything and gets the original students to finally become the masters they deserve to be. A worthy edition to probably the best underdog franchise ever made. 

Diary of a Geek Dad: The Nightly Boss Battle

As I laid there, desperately trying to get my daughter back into bed, trying not to get angry or frustrated, using every trick I know to achieve the desired outcome and get her asleep I realized just what I was involved in. It wasn’t parenting, it wasn’t a little girl deep into being ‘over-tired’, no, this was a boss battle.

I have been gaming since I was five, that's thirty two years of experience, so I know a boss battle or two. I can’t say I have beaten every single boss I have ever come up against in a game, certainly there has been a few that have caused me to much trouble I eventually gave up on the game altogether. The giving up bit doesn’t really apply to parenting, but the core loop of a video game boss fight is almost exactly the same, just less physical weapons.

Where in a game you will use guns, swords, magic powers etc to whittle down the health of the big bad guy until you win when you are trying to get a three year old to lie in bed and go to sleep your weapons are words and manipulation or threats and treats to be gained. The loop is the same though, and therein lies the trick.

A boss battle in game requires quick analysis of the enemies movement patterns and attacks so you can figure out, depending on the game, when to counter attack, parry or jump. You might also have to suss out which of your attacks are most effective, or elemental weaknesses which can help you out and get that health bar down.

With my three year old however, the health bar is her willingness to actually lay down and, more importantly, calm down. It can be a slow process, but a belief that I will eventually win, despite repeatedly being told “But I’m not sleepy though!”, helps get me though. As for my weapons, well as I say those become words and I have a few very effective ones.

I slowly chip away at that bar, with light attacks like kissing her on the forehead and telling her good night, reading a bedtime story and getting her to switch her gro-light to night mode. We go through all the usual bed time routines, but when that night light goes off that is when her ‘second form’ kicks in.

As she is getting up out of bed to go get a drink from the cup on top of her drawers, I might tell her that is the last one and to finish it. It’s simple enough, but means an excuse she uses to stay up has gone away. She counters of course, and isn’t dumb, so it then becomes “Can I have some water please Daddy?” even after downing a full glass of milk.

Sometimes I might also be hit with “Daddy I want something to eat” and this is where I bust out one of my most powerful counters. I response with “Well, if you lie down and be still and quiet for ten minutes, I will go get you something”. Now, this particular counter is super effective because it has a hidden rule: the timer resets.

Simply put, if she moves or talks, the ten minute counter resets to zero and starts over. So, so long as I stay the course, keep saying that's what she has to do, even when she asks if it has been time yet, that ten minutes might be half an hour but she will soon forget what she was asking for as sleep does in fact take over and that bar gets tantalizing close to zero. While this means I can ‘beat the boss’ so to speak, after only two forms, I know that some bosses can have a third more powerful form. My Daughter does too.

This third form, most recently unleashed the night before I wrote this, comes out when I misjudge the last stage of the battle, when there is still a sliver of health left on the bar. It comes when I think she is down, happily fast asleep, so I get up to leave the room. I messed up, and she wakes, however groggily, there are no words that come from her just screaming and a raising of arms. I quickly try to get back into position and calm her down so she will fall easily and blissfully back asleep but I fail and Daughter: Final Form is here.

There is kicking, there is screaming, there is the weirdest thing that small children do: lock themselves into a loop because they really want something so keep asking for that thing over and over again. For thirty minutes. At their loudest volume. This stage of the fight is simply a war of attrition, so close to the end that I just have to bare the brunt of it and chip away at the final chunk of health with a warm and gentle face, lots of shussing and gentle cuddling until finally, that glorious win is mine.

Can I honestly say that emotion doesn’t get the better of me sometimes and I don’t, however slightly, lose my rag? No I can’t, but who reading this can honestly say that they have never wanted to throw the controller across the room when a boss gets the better of them? Its the same as parenting, sometimes you just can’t help it. My advice? Remember your child does in fact love you, and isn’t actually possessed by some kind of incredibly irritating demon.

Most of all though remember that you can do this. Bosses are meant to be beaten, they gate progress but also access to new abilities, and each time you beat them you get a massive experience boost. All of that applies to both games and real life, and I know I can win the nightly boss battle without a shadow of a doubt. You can too.

Star Trek: Discovery is a Different Kind of Trek, and that's Ok.

*Major Spoilers for Star Trek: Discovery to follow*

People often say that geeks fall into two camps: Star Trek fans and Star Wars fans. It is a flawed, sometimes derogatory statement, but in my experience at least, there is some truth to it. I remember a new team member coming in at my work and he said to me one day that he was ‘more like me’ I asked what he meant, and was told more Star Wars than Star Trek.

To be fair, this wasn’t wrong, I had always considered myself a Trek fan but the adventures of the Jedi just appealed that little bit more. This was due to lightsabers and the battle of good vs evil but ever since Star Trek: The Next Generation aired way back in 1990 and a ten year old me was mesmerized by the theme song, the adventures of the Enterprise held a special place in my heart.

I consider some of the best episodes of TNG as some of the best TV I have ever watched. The likes of ‘Yesterday’s Enterprise’, ‘The best of both Worlds 1 & 2’ and ‘The Survivors’ hold that title, and the the series overall has always appealed to the science nerd in me, especially since I given the gift of the Star Trek Technical Manual for a birthday present one year. I can still tell you how a warp core works. Can’t fix a real world car, but I can do that.

So I was very excited when a new Trek show was announced. Titled Discovery and set before the timeline splitting reboot, it looked cool, though the first teaser made the USS Discovery look more like the original series Klingon Bird of Preys, which was confusing to say the least, but I was willing to shake it off.

The series started airing just before Christmas, and showed one a week, old school style, so no binge watching here. The first few episodes quickly established something I wasn’t expecting: this isn’t Star Trek. Sure, it has the federation, Klingon's, warp drive, NCC designations for the ships, but it fundamentally wasn’t what I knew.

That is because of one thing: War. Discovery starts with the start of the Klingon-Federation war and goes from there. There is lots of action, ship battles and firefights and with the always awesome Michelle Yeoh as Discovery’s captain plenty of ass kicking, but that was never was the series, indeed the franchise, was really about.

Star Trek made a coherent universe exactly because it wasn’t just about fighting. The United Federation of Planets isn’t a military organisation, it is primarily about science and exploration. The episodes of the various shows run this gamut, where one might indeed be about a battle against the Romulans or another race, two more will be about some crazy science experiment gone wrong or a required diplomatic mission to get a new race into the federation.

It was these episodes that breathed life into the alpha quadrant and its myriad races, making the whole thing make sense. Well as much sense as an alien who is so in-tune with warp mechanics he can travel through them. Let's be honest at this point, a lot of the tales spun by Star Trek shows are massively dumb, but there is a sense is a fun at the heart of it all that few shows to this day make work. Partly, this is because they take everything so seriously but also because the cast traditionally just set out to have a great time together and that does subtly come through on screen.

Discovery, on the other hand, is War Trek through and through. Everything the crew of NCC-1031 do is done to further the battle against the Klingon empire and hopefully win the war and it feels like every episode has at least one battle in it, be that a hand phaser shoot out or a full ship fight.

As the series goes on, however, it starts to redeem itself. As the thing that makes Discovery unique is revealed and the spore drive and Mycelial Network start to become a core plot device, the science aspect of the show steps out of the shadows. Calculations are done, technology is talked about and all the cool science stuff that made earlier shows so awesome comes out to play.

This coupled with characters that have a genuine arc, evolving and developing over the course of the series and Discovery actually becomes a really good show. You are meant to connect and empathize with the central character, Michael Burnham, a girl orphaned by the Klingon's and raised by Sarek, our old friend Mr Spook’s father.

However, it is my opinion that the characters around her are far more interesting. Michael is the main character, and therefore is always destined to win and regain her honour, which was lost at the start of the show. Ensign Tilly is one of the shows best characters, a character who starts out nervous, capable but always questioning her own worth and making apologies for everything she does.

By the final episode, however, Ensign Tilly has been enrolled into the command training program, having saved a commanding officer, proven more than capable in a fight and thrust into the role of Starship captain when Discovery is trapped in an alternate dimension. It’s cool to see someone like this in a big budget show, someone who goes from nervous noob to capable officer.

The alien that becomes acting captain, Saru, is a Kelpien, a race who can easily detect danger. He goes from a first officer who is maybe over cautious, to someone who fights back against every instinct, even genetic adaptations of his species, to become a capable and liked captain.

Because of these characters, and the way everything works out over the course of the series, Discovery actually did become a great show. Is it my favorite Star Trek show? Hell no, TNG will always take that crown, well that is unless season 2 is exceptional. It is just a little too much action for what fans would traditionally think of as a Star Trek show, being more like one of the movies, especially after the reboot, but that isn’t a bad thing.

Discovery isn’t your typical Trek, but that doesn’t automatically make it terrible. Some of the episodes are legitimately great, equaling the highlights of earlier shows. The makers took the franchise in a different direction, but that direction had focus and a point. It won’t go down in history as a work of deep reverie and thought provoking art, but it will keep you entertained.

I had a friend who fell off Discovery after three episodes, and I hope this urges her to go back to it, as well as those who pass it off as ‘Star Trek’. If you didn’t like earlier shows, then you might find this new incarnation more bearable. If you are a Trek fan, don’t dismiss this, it is better than you might think.